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It’s a simple four-letter word. A request. Maybe even a command. It’s one of the first concepts we as humans learn early on because it fills such basic needs. More food, more kisses, more holding, more play. Human nature makes us ask for what makes us feel secure, loved, and happy.
I guess it’s human nature also to re-hash moments and re-live parts of an event that has taken months to prepare for. We ask ourselves if we could have done things “better” or differently. Where could seconds or minutes been shaved from that overall time? I have been doing that this last week after Ironman Arizona.
Should I have not spent so much time changing in the transitions tent after the cold swim to change into dry, warm clothing for the seven hours I was to spend on my bike? No, I was comfortable and dry. Should I have not come to a full stop at mile 75 of the bike to use my inhaler while a lady steadied my wobbly bike as we laughed about how “great” I looked with dried nutrition and boogers all over my face. No, I will remember her kind face forever, and she reminded me I still had my sense of humor. Should I have not thanked almost every volunteer on the run course for their food and drink offerings and words of encouragement? No, they kept me going, and my mind off my aching feet. Should I have not stopped to meet my virtual coach who introduced himself to me for the first time and reminded me to focus the last three miles? No, I welcomed his warm words of support.
Any race is all about expectations. I smile now as I look back over my workout journal, adding up hours representing what a “perfect-all-planets-are-aligned” day would look like for me. Of course these time predictions fluctuated with how my workouts were going that week, and I tried to listen to my husband who was reminding me that the last time I attempted this distance I was fourteen years younger.
Expectations are only “good” for you if they can be re-worked during the course of a long day. Maintaining flexibility in setting realistic goals for oneself is paramount in how much happiness and satisfaction you may get back from your efforts. As my “perfect” day dissolved into an “okay” race, my expectations turned into gratitude for the many things I was able to experience before, during and after the event. First and foremost, I got to the starting line healthy and whole. No injuries and no illnesses, which are paramount being that I am 56 and have been competing for 27 years, and work in the public schools rampant with H1N1. I was so grateful for my husband and friends who supported me throughout my workouts and gave me smiles and cheers on the bike and run course. I was grateful to exit the swim in a time that exceeded my expectations, with only a small cut below my left eye and a kick to the jaw, which resulted in me biting my tongue. I was grateful for no flat tires, mechanical problems and very little wind on the bike ride. I was glad to have no serious GI problems during the run, because I really hate throwing up and/or going into the porta-johns.
I have seen the sport of triathlon go through many changes in the past three decades. Bikes, entry fees, gear, clothing, nutrition, helmets and related technology have morphed into something way beyond my wildest dreams. Some things are great, other things (compression socks?) become almost cult-like and I shake my head when I see how much money can be spent on this crazy sport.
I am not of the mind that completing an Ironman is of any real importance. It’s a very cool thing to do and be part of. It teaches perseverance, discipline, commitment and most times leads to a healthy and balanced lifestyle. It brings people together and raises money for wonderful causes. Spending large amounts of time on anything, makes one proud of the final results. This can include knitting your first scarf or finishing a Master’s thesis. I don’t think my two Ironman finishes are the most important accomplishments I have achieved. Not by a long shot.
When I returned to the middle school where I work, proudly wearing my finisher’s jacket, one student actually noticed. “Nice jacket Miss”, Timothy quipped as he navigated the computer during his free time. “Thanks”, I said, wondering just how he knew about Ironman events. “Ironman. Yeah, I like him. I have the movie!”, he added.
Back to reality, I am thankful to have a busy life filled with loved ones, hobbies I love and a job that keeps me on my toes and makes me laugh daily. There is something about triathlon however that makes me feel so alive. It IS something to cover 140.6 miles in one day and I am planning on training and racing another one in a couple years.
Am I happy and grateful? Absolutely! Completely satisfied? Never. I want MORE!
